What is written in "How to Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie

Prelude - How to get stuff gone using the book

1. Entwickel ein tiefes, dich antreibendes Begehren, die Interaktion mit Menschen zu meistern.
2. Lies jeden Text 2x, anfangs schnell überfliegend, dann genau und jedes Detail aussaugend.
3. Hinterfragen, was genau man eigentlich liest? Wann und wie hätte man das gelesen anwenden können
4. Unterstreichen und markieren. Dadurch können die essentiellen Abschnitte hervorgehoben werden und entsprechend bei einer Wiederholung schnellstens gefunden werden.
5. Jeden Monat die essentiellen Abschnitte wiederholen
6. Lesen ist nicht das gleiche wie Erlernen und anwenden können. Der Lehrprozess ist passiv, der Lernprozess ist aber idealerweise aktiv. Also die Erkenntnisse direkt praktisch anwenden
7. Gibt deinen Freunden einen Euro wann immer sie dich erwischen, nicht den Empfehlungen des Buches zu folgen.

Part 1 - Le basis: How to handle people

Part 2 - How to win friends

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Listen to people & be held in high regard.

In this Chapter Carnegie explains why we should make the effort and listen to our interlocuters.

Gifting attention

Carnegie once meet a renowned biologist and botanist at a dinner party. The biologist told of his adventures in producing new plants by combining seeds of already existing ones, revealed to Carnegie various interesting facts about the potato and other common plants. In the end he could even help him resolve his struggles harvesting home-grown tomatoes. Carnegie had listened to every word ,sitting on the edge of his seat as he never had interacted with an biologist. His actions yielded high returns. He was praised as a seasoned, well-experienced conversationalist, even though he had not said much as he knew nothing about biology. What had Carnegie done?

He had listened intently and his action was noticed. Carnegie had gifted his attention, naturally pleasing the biologist. This flattery - which only few people can resist - made him stand out.

What´s bad behaviour?

Carnegie argues one step to visualize the importance of listening is to understand these bad characteristics (duh).

• Never listen to anyone for a long time.
• Interrupt everyone with your very important thoughts.
• Only talk about yourself - do not ask about others

Do all of this and people will despise you, talk badly about you behind your back - slowly turning away from you. How does this help?

Cutting out bad behaviour is a major step to improve - standing out from the crowd. Listening shows others you care for their thoughts and value their imputs.

A sympathetic listener

During the civil war in the USA, Lincoln once asked his friend and neighbour from Illinois to visit him at the White House to discuss various problems.

Lincoln went over the pros and cons of issuing a proclamation freeing the slaves, he read letters and newspapers condemning him for wanting to free the slaves while others condemned him for not having already freed the slaves. He bid his old friend farewell - without ever having asked for his opinion. If not for a discussion - what had Lincoln wanted?

A sympathetic listener to ease his mind. He had not wanted advice and his neighbour´s input, rather a friend to whom he could unburden himself.

This is your venting friend, an angered colleague or customer unsatisfied with their shopping experience.

Conclusion